DARK MAESTRO, THE - Nom de Plum of William Ure . Having spent much of my life in the presence of ‘the Unseen' I find it difficult to share the popular terror of spooks. While ample evidence exists to support the existence of ghosts, a sensible response to one's presence is compassion rather than fear. The disembodied, guilt ridden spectres of the Whitechapel Murderer or Adolf Hitler, say, are less capable of wreaking havoc than their former, full blooded selves. There are, of course exceptions as a cursory overview of the life of Rod Hull will attest. His problems with Richard the Third, however, while deserving our compassion, were largely self-inflicted. If I knowingly invite a burglar into my home, I can hardly affect astonishment when he makes off with my belongings. The same principle applies to blundering encroachments into the spirit realm.
While I consider the supernatural genre fat-headed, I've done my utmost to support Billy in his aspirations. Over the years, I've found some of his 'spine-tinglers' quite effective. "Not to be read alone," I'll say when recommending one, though, to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't hesitate to do such a thing. Anyone needing the reassuring presence of other people to read anything should probably consider a course of counselling. That said, Billy's stories aren't without merit. He's strong on atmosphere and doesn't resort to shock tactics, using a minimum of violence and 'industrial' language, resisting a trend that has reduced modern Scottish fiction to the level of a graffiti-ed bus shelter.
Not satisfied with merely writing his stories, however, Billy, no doubt frustrated by the absence of interest, has persisted in the folly of public recitals. His first venture into this field over twenty years ago ended in disaster. His Hallowe'en reading of 'The House on Gallows Hill' was sarcastically heckled by Spencer and his friends until Billy fled from the stage before the ghost even made its appearance. For years he restricted himself to writing, but, doubtless encouraged by his fiancee, he made a tentative return to performance with a Christmas recital at Drumfeld Museum. Despite Gazette critic Hugh Walker's assessment that 'this Dark Maestro is as frightening a bowl of lukewarm custard' Billy reprised the role for three successive Christmases before moving into the realm of professional entertainment.
The notion that any children's party might be enlivened by the presence of Billy Ure reading one of his ghost stories might seem preposterous, but he's extremely active nonetheless. Demanding only that the hosts ensure a well behaved audience and provide a 'reasonably spooky ambience' he promises an 'unforgettable treat for more sensitive children.' A deluxe package involved Billy insinuating himself in the child's consciousness in the weeks leading up to the party, lurking around the vicinity in his Dark Maestro garb, instilling such a sense of escalating menace that, come the day of the party, his appearance cause what Billy's brochure referred to as 'a delicious frisson.' The deluxe option was abandoned when The Dark Maestro's appearance actually caused an irresistible urge on the child's part to punch and kick him. See also BAKER, TOM; BALSILLIE-URE, KAREN
Billy in full Dark Maestro regalia.
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